Good Performances Aside, Wonder Woman 1984 Is Way Less Wonderful

The first use I can find in a Google search of the term “sequelitis” is from 1985, in a Washington Post review of Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome. So 35 years ago, the concept of how a follow-up book, movie or game is not as good as the first one was common enough to find its way into print. Sadly, Wonder Woman 1984 is a classic example of sequel-itis. Below is a spoiler-free review of the new movie that hit theaters and the streaming service HBO Max on Christmas Day, Dec. 25. I will reveal no more than what you would have seen in the trailers or promotional material. If that is spoiler-free enough for you, read on after the break.

To be clear, WW 1984 is not a terrible movie. It does hit home in some aspects. The performances are good to great, particularly Gal Gadot giving us a more mature, complex Diana that fits emotionally quite well between the newbie hero of Wonder Woman and the mature, experienced character of Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice and Justice League. Kristen Wiig is typically adorkable as Barbara Minerva, and surprisingly sexy and powerful. I hope she gets more chances to play roles like that going forward. Pedro Pascal eats scenery like crackers as Maxwell Lord. And Chris Pine does well with his lesser role as Steve Trevor than he had in the first movie.

The fact that, aside from some returning faces in smaller roles and a bunch of bit parts, this is a four-person drama that stretches out for 2.5 hours is one of the problems with the film. Even the previous movie had multiple villains, entire teams of heroes with back stories, plot twists and turns, and managed to fit in an origin story. WW 1984 has one non-combat exciting action piece, one really significant combat action sequence before the big finale, and no real mystery or even plot complexity to speak of. That’s a 90-minute flick — at best two hours. So somewhere between 30 minutes and an hour is essentially filler — sometimes disguised as alleged character development, but often just “ooh!” and “ahh!” moments.

The CGI is surprisingly weak, when compared to the original Wonder Woman movie. Not so surprising when compared to Justice League, however, which makes me wonder once again just what is happening at Warner Bros. with its continuing backslide in CG quality. At a time when a series — not even a movie — like The Mandalorian is setting a higher bar every episode for CG quality, having CG character movement look as fake as some in WW 1984 do is just inexcusable.

But the worst part of Wonder Woman 1984 is the writing. As I mentioned above, there is zero complexity to the plot. The character actions are telegraphed long before we see them happen, so there are almost no surprises in the movie. The dialogue is occasionally stiff and sometimes just plain wrong. Forgive me if you consider me reciting this line as a spoiler, but it is out of context and has no bearing on the plot anyway: Diana says at one point “I don’t know what’s going on. But I hope I am wrong.” Well, which is it? You can’t be wrong when you have no idea what’s happening. Director Patty Jenkins and Geoff Johns are listed as the writers, and I know Johns can do better, while Jenkins wrote and directed the brilliant Charlize Theron movie Monster. The only other screenplay credit is for David Callaham, who wrote multiple movies in the The Expendables franchise, and Doom. So, that likely explains it.

The overall theme is delivered like a truckload of loam for your lawn — a massive dump. The animated series Avatar: The Last Airbender delivered a similar theme with way more complexity and subtlety, and it was aimed at 12 year-olds.

Watch Wonder Woman 1984 for the lame 1980s jokes and because every movie or show Gal Gadot does should be required viewing. And everyone who thinks that they can’t pull off sexy and powerful should watch dorky Kristen Wiig absolutely nail it. Just don’t expect the movie to hold your interest or be at all memorable.

I give Wonder Woman 1984 (Warner Bros.; PG-13; 2hrs 31mins) a 2.5 out of 5.

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